Newsletter 22- Habits

After exploring habit formation in our brains - part 1, habits and the brain - and how the habit loop could be applied to language learning - part 2, habits and language learning - let me tell you a quick word (or 2 or 3) about habits and coaching.

A word about habits

I realize that the word "habit" can sometimes be confused with the word "routine". I'll give you my definitions so we can all agree ;-)

• A habit is "automatic", something you do without thinking too much about it.

• A routine requires more thought and planning. A well-oiled routine involves a series of well-established habits.

  
  

In my coaching sessions, I work with my coachees (among other things) to establish a "habit" that will become part of their "routine". When you reach for your phone and scroll on Instagram, and it's something you do often, that's a habit. It can be part of a routine: wake up, shower, coffee, instagram, subway, work, subway, dinner, Netflix, sleep.

I think we'd all agree that one (routine) like the other (habit) evoke thoughts of repetition, boredom, and resistance to change. Indeed, habits can be all of these - if you let them control you. These I would say are often associated with ‘bad habits’.

However, when you harness the power of habit for your own growth, deciding the what, when, where, and how, habits become a game-changer. This is particularly true for learning, health and personal development. Let’s call them ‘good habits’.

Over the past few years, I’ve established a few intentional habits. As a result, some have stuck wonderfully, and I believe it’s because they benefit me! Other habits, on the other hand, are much harder to maintain, and I question myself: is it my failure, or is it because they’re not the right habits for me?

That being said, falling off the wagon is undoubtedly a part of the journey towards intentional habit formation.

My (successful) habits

Let me tell you about my ‘success stories’: three “habits” I’m very committed to, and so far, so good - let’s hope it lasts.

I’m calling them habits rather than routines because I no longer even think about it. I just do them.

• My first habit: Writing a newsletter. Every Monday and Tuesday, I set aside one hour for writing. I was never able to maintain this in the past. How did I manage it? I meet online with someone who also struggles to commit to a regular time. Accountability is a powerful tool when building a habit.

  
  

• The second habit: I meditate for 20 minutes every morning. I am definitely not an early riser, but I became one. How? The minute I open my eyes, I jump out of bed and head to my office, which doubles as a meditation and yoga room, and I meditate. I don’t switch up my meditations; I found that wanting to change them every morning led to indecision and wasted time. So, invariably, I follow the same routine each morning. I allow myself to skip a day occasionally, but never two in a row. Plus, I feel so awake and alert after those 20 minutes that I can’t imagine starting my day without it. How did I succeed there? Having a coach, I started almost 4 years ago on a 40-day journey with a yoga/meditation coach (shout out to Lynn Roulo, forever thankful).

  
  

• The third habit: At the end of my workday, around 7 PM, I pour myself a glass of wine, tea, or kombucha - everything depends on the kind of day I’ve had - and sit in front of my TV to watch a series in Spanish for at least 30 minutes. Day after day. Except when I’m in Spain - then I go to a café, order a drink, and listen to the conversations around me. 😊 Enjoyment is key.

  
  

How to build an intentional habit

One word: Motivation

Oh and a second word: Drive

Wait there’s a third : Gradually :-)

Easier said than done. I know. I’m a stereotype. In spite of :

• Having read Atomic Habits by James Clear, twice and loving it (I’ve put a page together for you to find out more about it)

• Learning about why and how habits form in the brain

• Knowing how certain habits could absolutely positively impact my life

• Coaching people to new habits rather successfully

  
  

I still struggle again and again with sticking to new habits. So do the vast majority of the coachees I work with. In fact, if I had to name the one most difficult thing for them to do is putting in place a new language habit. Yes, I'm the proverbial shoemaker whose children go barefoot!

Working with a Neurolanguage Coach - me, for example - to learn/improve your English or your French such as myself makes it much easier to set new habits. Accountability, reminders, consistency, etc., are all part of the package, but also because I know a few things about the brain - and about learning languages - that are super useful when working on helping you set new language learning habits.